like sandpaper and bare ass

NETWORKS

Coworker: When I get home and take a shower my tan goes away.
Me: I think that's called dirt.

Source: foreveralone-lyguy

me: Want to cuddle?
girlfriend: Did you hit your post limit?

Source: foreveralone-lyguy

- #LOL
- #ROFL
- #meme
- #funny
- #quote of the day
11 months ago
25
Permalink

My dad snuck into a High School graduation

Him when he came back: Who’s got game?

me: Michael Jordan

sister: No Derek Fisher

me:

Source: foreveralone-lyguy

- #LOL
- #ROFL
- #basketball
- #funny
- #meme
- #michael jordan
- #sports
- #Quote of the Day
1 year ago
3
Permalink

Girlfriend: If I die you'll meet your brother's next girlfriend and I'll haunt her.
Sister: No he won't get another girlfriend. He'll be a forever alone.

Source: foreveralone-lyguy

Me: It's either summer or I need to exercise because I just broke a sweat while taking a dump.

Source: foreveralone-lyguy

According to my girlfriend last night 5 minutes after I had fallen asleep I stopped snoring to say “Shia Labeouf is a cannibal.”

Source: foreveralone-lyguy

- #LOL
- #ROFL
- #meme
- #funny
- #shia labeouf
- #cannibal
- #cannibalism
- #torreeeh
- #stories
- #quote of the day
1 year ago
13
Permalink

Quote of the day:

*My girlfriend and I after finishing our dinner at a restaurant*
Her: "I'm so full I could tip over."
She's foreveralone-lygirl.tumblr.com

Source: foreveralone-lyguy

A conversation between me and my girlfriend on facebook

Her: "Can you also google 'sex by youself?'"
Me: "I did. It said 404 error."

Quote of the day:

My girlfriend while trying to fall asleep
Her: "I'm confused."
Me: "What are you confused about?"
Her: "I'm feeling sleepy... sports... confused..."
Me: "Why are you feeling sports?"
Her: "That's one of the options."

Source: foreveralone-lyguy

Quote of the day:

My girlfriend: “Do you remember when the Knight RIder movie?”

Me: “No.”

My girlfriend: “WAAAAHT? WHERE WERE YOU?!?!?”

Me: “In my mom’s stomach.”

Source: foreveralone-lyguy

Quote of the day:

My girlfriend to me

My girlfriend: “You’re so simplistic. So easy to please. I know you hate that about yourself but I love it. The world is so… complicated. And you’re so… beautiful.”

Quote of the day:

Me to my 12 yr old cousin:

Me: “What’s your boyfriend’s name?”

Her: “I don’t have one.”

Me: “What’s your girlfriend’s name?”

Her: “Jessica.”

Quote of the day:

An average exchange between my girlfriend and me

Her: “Can I get you anything? (meaning food)”

Me: “No thank you. I’m trying to watch my figure. I need to go down a dress size.”

Her: “A WHOLE DRESS SIZE? Are you getting ready for prom?”

Me: “Yeah I got a hot date.”

Quote of the day:

Me: “I thought the song ‘Rack City Chick’ was called ‘Rag City Chick’ and got happy that the artist was giving to the homeless by ‘throwing hundreds’ at them.”

Quote of the day:

My little cousin petting my girlfriend’s cat: “Where does she pee?”

- #LOL
- #ROFL
- #funny
- #Quote of the Day
1 year ago
Permalink

Page 1 of 3

← Newer • Older →

My dad snuck into a High School graduation

Quote of the day:

A conversation between me and my girlfriend on facebook

Quote of the day:

Quote of the day:

Quote of the day:

Quote of the day:

Quote of the day:

Quote of the day:

Quote of the day:

Pages