like sandpaper and bare ass

Q:In a land of wild sex, drugs, and expensive books; a hero was born. He was 6' 2" with an abundance of facial hair and a plan! He planned on taking on the corporate fat cats, and screwing the system as often as a priest screws a choir boy. He would tape the professor's "j" key down, because his nickname was Jay. He would grow a huge ass beard, and when people complimented it; he shaved it off. This man's humor is like sandpaper and bare ass. He is the most interesting man in the world.